Wandering In Personal Wilderness

Each of us wakes with a different vision and hope filled with anticipation.  The daily journey begins as rays of light start to touch the horizon.  We begin to dream of what may become of this day, the successes we desire, the potential  of accomplishments, and the adventure of stepping into the unknown.  Sometimes we rely on the forecasts and predictions of others who have gone before us.  Then there are times that we forge forward as pioneers, relying on our own sense of being and willpower.  We move into the darkness with faith that we can and will succeed come what may.

As darkness turns to light, we may begin to see a path clearly marked before us.  We must then choose to follow the well worn trail, trusting the wisdom of others or choose to wield forward on our own to paths yet created.  In the end the choice is one.  Yours.  No one can choose for you.

Along our wanderings, there are often times to stop and reflect.  We can look back to see where we have come from or look forward to where we think we want to be.  If we look hard enough, we can see others on similar paths, moving forward, upward, and onward to obtain the expected vision they had created.  

I took the opportunity to ponder life's journey this weekend as we moved forward along our trail.  Though we were walking together, I realized that each of us had a different vision of what the end might be.  Each of us had different concerns as we pondered the next step ahead.  Each of us had different motives for being where we were at any given time.

I found myself divided many times along the trails.  Should I speed up or slow down?  What would happen if those ahead of me got lost?  If I moved forward, what would happen if those behind got hurt?  Were there others trying to keep up with me?  Was I pushing to hard for them?  Where there other trying to prove they could do it without me and that my presences was only a hindrance?  I found myself filling my mind with expectations and visions of what I thought others were thinking when in reality, I just needed to focus on what I was doing and watching each step in front of me.

I was too concerned about living up to the expectations of other rather than meeting the expectations I had set for myself.  Like those on the trail with me, we were moving towards the same goal.  Some faster, some slower, it did not matter.  That fact that we were all moving at our own pace is what mattered.  Yet, I did not feel completely comfortable being to far out of the reach of those who may have needed my assistance.

How many of us do the same?  Do we become so consumed with outward appearances that we forget about what matters most, following the inward whispering?  

There was a moment where I find myself focusing on the the outward.  I had never been on this trail.  I knew that many others were in similar circumstances.  In the heat of those outward concerns, I picked up the pace to catch those who I feared might get lost.  When I found them, they were waiting for direction.  The path to follow was not clear.  As I arrived, they all looked to me for answers.  Fearing that I might let them down, I chose the path that lead upward.  That is where we were head right?

It did not take long for us to realize that the path we were following was becoming less and less of a trail.  I learned that I had to repent, turn face and retrace our step until we found someone who knew where we should be.  

Life is that way.  I then had a choice to make.  Should I stop and follow or pick up my boot straps and keep moving forward.  The important thing is that we don't fear taking the lead.  If we are doing our best, the Lord will take care of the rest, even when we make mistakes.  He forgives, so must we.  Especially ourselves.

Looking forward to sharing more reflection.