Grateful for second guesses
I hope that everyone has had an enjoyable week. It is has been kind of quiet around here. I spent the week trying to catch up on small items before the next holiday and think if ideas to share for those who are seeking. The Queen and the Professor spent most of their days working. We did have Thursday off, but I get ahead of myself.
While I have been twiddling around all week, my mind has been filled with some different thoughts. I know that writing them down often helps me, but I have learned that for those reading, it is not always the same. I tend to ramble. I tend to think faster than I am typing and thus forget to type it all out. I am saying it in my head as I type, or think I am typing, but later find that I have missed key thoughts to bring it all together.
Another think I have learned as of late is that typing does not convey emotion. There is not facial interaction or body language to read. I can understand the concerns the some prophets of old shared in writing down scripture. An example of this occurred this week while conversing with Puddin, via email of course. He typed a simple statement. It was just that, a statement. He was letting me know that something had changed in his life. I on the other hand did not read it as a simple statement. I started trying to see, understand, or make something of it that was not intended. My response to his statement was completely out of context of what he was intending to say. I thought I was basing my response off of previous conversations that had taken place between us. Fortunately, we were able to continue corresponding and reach a point of clearer understanding of the statement and even the previous conversation that I had probably made more of than was really there.
I wonder how often we are all guilty of that in our lives. It seemed to be a big topic of concern from several church leaders who were asked to speak in this last conference as well. It is so easy for us to hear something, think something completely different from what was being said. We read something and often times try to read between the lines, seeking hidden meaning or agendas that really weren't there in the first place. Many time we will look at others doing something and compare ourselves to them, judge ourselves as more or less, when in reality, they, we, all of us are on equal ground, just trying to do our best to make it from day to day. How many talks to you remember where this was mentioned as a concern?
Any who, it was Puddin who started me thinking, then a friend on social media posted a question/scenario that made my thoughts deepen. The scenario was as follows:
One of the children in their household, who they believed to be fully capable of success, was not doing so well in a certain subject matter in school. In fact, at mid-terms, they were carrying a heavy F in the subject. As parents, they sat down with said child, expressed their confidence in their ability, and at the same time informed them that there would be consequences if the performance did not change. The expectation was set, not straight A's, but at least a B in the subject, as they were fully capable of doing so, by the Thanksgiving Holiday. If the performance was not achieved, said child would lose access to electronic devices until it was.
Well, here we are at Thanksgiving Holiday and said child had improved performance to 78%. A strong C+, but not the agreed upon B. There was suddenly a question of what should be done. One parent felt that the agreement was B. B was not obtained, hence restrictions should be put in place. The other parent felt that going from F to C+ in and of it self is a good sign of effort, the effort should be rewarded, so maybe they should be forgiving and let the usage of devices continue.
They posted a survey to all. What do you think?
This is a tough one. Parenting in and of itself is never easy. I know that I have found myself in very similar situations. It is easy to see both perspectives. Is one better than the other? I am not sure. Is there a guide that says which is the correct or incorrect way to resolve said situation? I have read one. However, it has opened me to great thought.
I think of our Eternal Parents. What would they do? Harder question for me, what would they want me to do with said child that they have entrusted to my care? Would they want forgiving? Would they want acknowledgement of effort? Would they want consequences for lack of meeting established expectations/covenants/promises/commandments? The answer is YES! Yes, to all of the above. But how it is done. They leave it up to us.
I was intrigued by the varied answers, none of which were necessarily wrong, but varied none the less. How hard is it for them? Especially with each of us, individual children, varied in circumstances, situations, and life experiences, yet there is still a line of consistency. Laws, rules, expectations, covenants, and consequences must be met.
I am grateful this week for a Savior, who makes it possible for me to be redeemed from those mistakes I make, the weaknesses, short comings, self imposed judgments (of myself and others), the second guesses, questions, doubts, and more that I have every single day. I am grateful for the Atonement, that provides a path for me to repent, change, turn, and move forward, over and over again in my life. I am grateful for life experiences that give me reason to question, doubt, second guess, and then repent, change, turn, and move forward. I hope that you can as well.
Okay, the scripture that continued to roll in my head as I went through out the week:
2 Nephi 2:11 - it makes more sense each time I reflect upon it. Someday I hope to fully understand it all.
So our week:
Like I said, it was pretty casual.
The Queen worked her tail off all week. She forced herself to get out of bed each morning, knowing that I was going to be lazy and just hang out until I felt like getting up as I was on vacation. I didn't end up spending a great deal of time just hanging out, but it was nice none the less. She did Thanksgiving off. It was wonderful to spend the day with her, family, and friends. Many were missed. We hope and pray their day was well spent and filled with similar love and happiness.
The Professor geared up for the annual grade performances. It is always a stressful period of life when her and her team put so much effort in to a wonderful stage, in hopes that all who attend will be blessed with joy. By Wednesday afternoon, she was home and ready for the 4 day weekend. We were happy to spend some time with her at the temple on Saturday.
Tall Man and Ehl-Bo continue to both be busy, busy, busy. Another show opened this week at the theater. Though neither one of them are performing, they both had vital roles in making sure the set and design were fully functional before the curtain rose. We enjoyed seeing them on Thursday, missed them on Saturday, and hope that health is returning to their household.
On Saturday afternoon, we had the opportunity of stopping by to visit a Tharp. He looks good, sounds good, and is ready, well kind of, to jump back into life on the West Side. He is capable of great things.
We didn't hear much if anything from Songbird. It is a busy season for the new job and time with family. We still think about her though. Someday it will slow down. Yes, we know we are approaching Moore Madness Month, but we can be hopeful.
Again, we hope your week was filled with love and thanks givings.
Cheerios
While I have been twiddling around all week, my mind has been filled with some different thoughts. I know that writing them down often helps me, but I have learned that for those reading, it is not always the same. I tend to ramble. I tend to think faster than I am typing and thus forget to type it all out. I am saying it in my head as I type, or think I am typing, but later find that I have missed key thoughts to bring it all together.
Another think I have learned as of late is that typing does not convey emotion. There is not facial interaction or body language to read. I can understand the concerns the some prophets of old shared in writing down scripture. An example of this occurred this week while conversing with Puddin, via email of course. He typed a simple statement. It was just that, a statement. He was letting me know that something had changed in his life. I on the other hand did not read it as a simple statement. I started trying to see, understand, or make something of it that was not intended. My response to his statement was completely out of context of what he was intending to say. I thought I was basing my response off of previous conversations that had taken place between us. Fortunately, we were able to continue corresponding and reach a point of clearer understanding of the statement and even the previous conversation that I had probably made more of than was really there.
I wonder how often we are all guilty of that in our lives. It seemed to be a big topic of concern from several church leaders who were asked to speak in this last conference as well. It is so easy for us to hear something, think something completely different from what was being said. We read something and often times try to read between the lines, seeking hidden meaning or agendas that really weren't there in the first place. Many time we will look at others doing something and compare ourselves to them, judge ourselves as more or less, when in reality, they, we, all of us are on equal ground, just trying to do our best to make it from day to day. How many talks to you remember where this was mentioned as a concern?
Any who, it was Puddin who started me thinking, then a friend on social media posted a question/scenario that made my thoughts deepen. The scenario was as follows:
One of the children in their household, who they believed to be fully capable of success, was not doing so well in a certain subject matter in school. In fact, at mid-terms, they were carrying a heavy F in the subject. As parents, they sat down with said child, expressed their confidence in their ability, and at the same time informed them that there would be consequences if the performance did not change. The expectation was set, not straight A's, but at least a B in the subject, as they were fully capable of doing so, by the Thanksgiving Holiday. If the performance was not achieved, said child would lose access to electronic devices until it was.
Well, here we are at Thanksgiving Holiday and said child had improved performance to 78%. A strong C+, but not the agreed upon B. There was suddenly a question of what should be done. One parent felt that the agreement was B. B was not obtained, hence restrictions should be put in place. The other parent felt that going from F to C+ in and of it self is a good sign of effort, the effort should be rewarded, so maybe they should be forgiving and let the usage of devices continue.
They posted a survey to all. What do you think?
This is a tough one. Parenting in and of itself is never easy. I know that I have found myself in very similar situations. It is easy to see both perspectives. Is one better than the other? I am not sure. Is there a guide that says which is the correct or incorrect way to resolve said situation? I have read one. However, it has opened me to great thought.
I think of our Eternal Parents. What would they do? Harder question for me, what would they want me to do with said child that they have entrusted to my care? Would they want forgiving? Would they want acknowledgement of effort? Would they want consequences for lack of meeting established expectations/covenants/promises/commandments? The answer is YES! Yes, to all of the above. But how it is done. They leave it up to us.
I was intrigued by the varied answers, none of which were necessarily wrong, but varied none the less. How hard is it for them? Especially with each of us, individual children, varied in circumstances, situations, and life experiences, yet there is still a line of consistency. Laws, rules, expectations, covenants, and consequences must be met.
I am grateful this week for a Savior, who makes it possible for me to be redeemed from those mistakes I make, the weaknesses, short comings, self imposed judgments (of myself and others), the second guesses, questions, doubts, and more that I have every single day. I am grateful for the Atonement, that provides a path for me to repent, change, turn, and move forward, over and over again in my life. I am grateful for life experiences that give me reason to question, doubt, second guess, and then repent, change, turn, and move forward. I hope that you can as well.
Okay, the scripture that continued to roll in my head as I went through out the week:
2 Nephi 2:11 - it makes more sense each time I reflect upon it. Someday I hope to fully understand it all.
So our week:
Like I said, it was pretty casual.
The Queen worked her tail off all week. She forced herself to get out of bed each morning, knowing that I was going to be lazy and just hang out until I felt like getting up as I was on vacation. I didn't end up spending a great deal of time just hanging out, but it was nice none the less. She did Thanksgiving off. It was wonderful to spend the day with her, family, and friends. Many were missed. We hope and pray their day was well spent and filled with similar love and happiness.
The Professor geared up for the annual grade performances. It is always a stressful period of life when her and her team put so much effort in to a wonderful stage, in hopes that all who attend will be blessed with joy. By Wednesday afternoon, she was home and ready for the 4 day weekend. We were happy to spend some time with her at the temple on Saturday.
Tall Man and Ehl-Bo continue to both be busy, busy, busy. Another show opened this week at the theater. Though neither one of them are performing, they both had vital roles in making sure the set and design were fully functional before the curtain rose. We enjoyed seeing them on Thursday, missed them on Saturday, and hope that health is returning to their household.
On Saturday afternoon, we had the opportunity of stopping by to visit a Tharp. He looks good, sounds good, and is ready, well kind of, to jump back into life on the West Side. He is capable of great things.
We didn't hear much if anything from Songbird. It is a busy season for the new job and time with family. We still think about her though. Someday it will slow down. Yes, we know we are approaching Moore Madness Month, but we can be hopeful.
Again, we hope your week was filled with love and thanks givings.
Cheerios
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