Poverty, it is more than dollars and cents
Happy Father's Day - to those who are and those who one day will be!
Dad - I love you! If I don't say it enough, know that I do.
I hope your week has been filled with grand adventure. I know mine has been crazy busy. I have tried to catch up on all that I miss here while I was traveling, but that seems to be a never ending process. I know that the Queen and those in the current dwelling place probably get tired of my random thoughts as I reflect and shout out things that I experienced during my week of adventure. As I say that, I would like to mention that I don't get tired of hearing such shout outs from the weekly adventures I missed.
I hope you have each had the opportunity to sit and ponder this week. I hope you have received some of the guidance you are seeking. I know I have.
This week's pondering comes from Alma 32:5.
"And they came unto Alma; and the one who was the foremost among them said unto him: Behold, what shall these my brethren do, for they are despised of all men because of their poverty, yea, and more especially by our priest; for they have cast us out of our synagogues which we have labored abundantly to build with our own hands; and they have cast us out because of our exceeding poverty; and we have no place to worship our God; and behold, what shall we do?"
I have read and pondered this verse several times this week. Each I have, the same impressions and questions feel my mind. I have tried to envision these people, their backgrounds, their thoughts, and circumstances. Over the years I have always seen people dressed in shabby clothing, dirty, ragged, and of little temporal substance. However, this week I did not. I saw something different.
This week I saw people like you and me, I saw my children, my siblings, my neighbors, my ward, my stake and so many more. I saw them in the people I passed on the streets. I looked into their eyes. I tried to perceive their thoughts through the thoughts that I know I have often had. I began to wonder if their poverty was a matter of self perception, because I saw myself in the same boat this week, but in a different circumstance.
Background - This week I attended a conference. I go to these conferences with mixed emotion at times. I dread, like this people, being in the crowd, but not being or feeling a part of the crowd. I have to boost myself up to be there. Once I arrive, I often find myself looking for those opportunities to escape and having to force myself to stay.
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed the conference. There was lots of great information shared. I was able to network and collaborate with my peers and leaders. I was inspired to do be better and do better in my role in the work place. I felt that I had a great deal to contribute in most of the workshops that I attended. I walked away feeling good.
However, there were some workshops that I did not feel pertained to me. When I was in those workshops, I found myself, like these people, being judged. Well, I thought I was being judged because I was not able to contribute at the same level as everyone else. When I was called upon, I felt my comments were not effectual and in my mind I perceived everyone in the room laughing at me in their minds because I felt poor. In these meetings, my self esteem and confidence was low.
There was also those evening social "Networking" hours commonly referred to as "Happy Hour". I just don't like these. I really have to force myself to stay. I find people hovering in groups with their favorite bottle or glass of choice. Once they have consumed a few, they find themselves carrying said beverage on to the dance floor or karaoke sing along and "Networking". I just feel out of place and very self conscious. Even when I try to migrate to those others who feel just as uncomfortable as I do, they are not focused on "Networking". We are all so self conscious that we are just looking for opportunities to escape.
Have you ever been in this position? Not necessarily in a conference, but how about in a class, on campus, at work, at church, in a new place, in a new calling, on your mission, with a new companion, or even with your family at times?
As I have pondered the people mentioned in this verse this week and thought about my own self perceived inadequacies in different environments, this week especially, I have been able to relate. I have come to realize that more times that not, I am not being judged by others, but I am judging myself. I am not being cast out, but I am escaping/casting myself out. I find that I hide behind a device or make an excuse not to be present. My uncomfortable feelings are self inflicted more than by others.
I have to shake off those whisperings of self doubt and belonging and force myself to be engaged to learn from where I stand, which may be different from others, but does not make me less of a person than they. It does not mean that my thoughts, though they may be at a different level, are any less meaningful and applicable. Each time I put down the device and stop hiding behind self doubt, I find that I am not the only one in the boat. More often than not, I find that their are others, like in this group, waddling in their own insecurities with me. Together we are all trying to rise out of the self-perceived mire. When I do, I always walk away on a higher plane. It may not be the same plane as everyone else, but that is ok, we are all being lifted.
Do you see yourself in this group? As we ponder the words of Alma, I am convinced that they apply to all of us if we will but heed them. They apply to more than church, but every aspect of our lives. I encourage you to to study, ponder, and heed.
On to the week -
As you can tell, I have been out of the loop. I have come home inspired and lifted. I will admit, there were still times that I escaped, but I am grateful for the times that I did not escape. I am even more grateful for the courage and strength given to me each day from our Father in Heaven as an answer to my daily prayers. I know that he was with me, giving me strength to overcome my doubts and be engaged.
It sounds like the Queen had an eventful week. There have been some ups and downs with technology in the house. She has had some bouts with stomach viruses, but she overcame them all and was able to accomplish many things.
The Professor worked. She has not talked to me much about what else happened in life, but she is finding more and more that she is not the only one in the boat she is rowing right now.
Tall Man started full week of his new job this week. I have heard bits and pieces, but have not heard it all. I look forward to hearing more from him and Ehl-Bo.
Puddin is commuting. It makes for long days, but is getting them closer to new adventures. Lady Hawkins is counting down the days of moving further south and being in a different valley.
SnackPack worked. When he was not sleeping, he worked some more. There were lots of long days and little sleep. He also joined an indoor soccer team and is enjoying those adventures.
I love you all. Make the day Holy.
Dad - I love you! If I don't say it enough, know that I do.
I hope your week has been filled with grand adventure. I know mine has been crazy busy. I have tried to catch up on all that I miss here while I was traveling, but that seems to be a never ending process. I know that the Queen and those in the current dwelling place probably get tired of my random thoughts as I reflect and shout out things that I experienced during my week of adventure. As I say that, I would like to mention that I don't get tired of hearing such shout outs from the weekly adventures I missed.
I hope you have each had the opportunity to sit and ponder this week. I hope you have received some of the guidance you are seeking. I know I have.
This week's pondering comes from Alma 32:5.
"And they came unto Alma; and the one who was the foremost among them said unto him: Behold, what shall these my brethren do, for they are despised of all men because of their poverty, yea, and more especially by our priest; for they have cast us out of our synagogues which we have labored abundantly to build with our own hands; and they have cast us out because of our exceeding poverty; and we have no place to worship our God; and behold, what shall we do?"
I have read and pondered this verse several times this week. Each I have, the same impressions and questions feel my mind. I have tried to envision these people, their backgrounds, their thoughts, and circumstances. Over the years I have always seen people dressed in shabby clothing, dirty, ragged, and of little temporal substance. However, this week I did not. I saw something different.
This week I saw people like you and me, I saw my children, my siblings, my neighbors, my ward, my stake and so many more. I saw them in the people I passed on the streets. I looked into their eyes. I tried to perceive their thoughts through the thoughts that I know I have often had. I began to wonder if their poverty was a matter of self perception, because I saw myself in the same boat this week, but in a different circumstance.
Background - This week I attended a conference. I go to these conferences with mixed emotion at times. I dread, like this people, being in the crowd, but not being or feeling a part of the crowd. I have to boost myself up to be there. Once I arrive, I often find myself looking for those opportunities to escape and having to force myself to stay.
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed the conference. There was lots of great information shared. I was able to network and collaborate with my peers and leaders. I was inspired to do be better and do better in my role in the work place. I felt that I had a great deal to contribute in most of the workshops that I attended. I walked away feeling good.
However, there were some workshops that I did not feel pertained to me. When I was in those workshops, I found myself, like these people, being judged. Well, I thought I was being judged because I was not able to contribute at the same level as everyone else. When I was called upon, I felt my comments were not effectual and in my mind I perceived everyone in the room laughing at me in their minds because I felt poor. In these meetings, my self esteem and confidence was low.
There was also those evening social "Networking" hours commonly referred to as "Happy Hour". I just don't like these. I really have to force myself to stay. I find people hovering in groups with their favorite bottle or glass of choice. Once they have consumed a few, they find themselves carrying said beverage on to the dance floor or karaoke sing along and "Networking". I just feel out of place and very self conscious. Even when I try to migrate to those others who feel just as uncomfortable as I do, they are not focused on "Networking". We are all so self conscious that we are just looking for opportunities to escape.
Have you ever been in this position? Not necessarily in a conference, but how about in a class, on campus, at work, at church, in a new place, in a new calling, on your mission, with a new companion, or even with your family at times?
As I have pondered the people mentioned in this verse this week and thought about my own self perceived inadequacies in different environments, this week especially, I have been able to relate. I have come to realize that more times that not, I am not being judged by others, but I am judging myself. I am not being cast out, but I am escaping/casting myself out. I find that I hide behind a device or make an excuse not to be present. My uncomfortable feelings are self inflicted more than by others.
I have to shake off those whisperings of self doubt and belonging and force myself to be engaged to learn from where I stand, which may be different from others, but does not make me less of a person than they. It does not mean that my thoughts, though they may be at a different level, are any less meaningful and applicable. Each time I put down the device and stop hiding behind self doubt, I find that I am not the only one in the boat. More often than not, I find that their are others, like in this group, waddling in their own insecurities with me. Together we are all trying to rise out of the self-perceived mire. When I do, I always walk away on a higher plane. It may not be the same plane as everyone else, but that is ok, we are all being lifted.
Do you see yourself in this group? As we ponder the words of Alma, I am convinced that they apply to all of us if we will but heed them. They apply to more than church, but every aspect of our lives. I encourage you to to study, ponder, and heed.
On to the week -
As you can tell, I have been out of the loop. I have come home inspired and lifted. I will admit, there were still times that I escaped, but I am grateful for the times that I did not escape. I am even more grateful for the courage and strength given to me each day from our Father in Heaven as an answer to my daily prayers. I know that he was with me, giving me strength to overcome my doubts and be engaged.
It sounds like the Queen had an eventful week. There have been some ups and downs with technology in the house. She has had some bouts with stomach viruses, but she overcame them all and was able to accomplish many things.
The Professor worked. She has not talked to me much about what else happened in life, but she is finding more and more that she is not the only one in the boat she is rowing right now.
Tall Man started full week of his new job this week. I have heard bits and pieces, but have not heard it all. I look forward to hearing more from him and Ehl-Bo.
Puddin is commuting. It makes for long days, but is getting them closer to new adventures. Lady Hawkins is counting down the days of moving further south and being in a different valley.
SnackPack worked. When he was not sleeping, he worked some more. There were lots of long days and little sleep. He also joined an indoor soccer team and is enjoying those adventures.
I love you all. Make the day Holy.
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