What Counts
Many, many, many, many years ago, when our family was just starting the Queen and I found that we had been raised differently. We each brought to our marriage different levels of gospel understanding, strengths and weaknesses in different areas, and a myriad of family traditions that we needed to learn to mix and meld. What you see today is many, many, many, many years of work, tweaking, and compromise.
Today, I was reminded of one of those traditions that to me seemed silly at the time. I guess I was wrong. We had probably been following the tradition with heavier barring on the Queen's side than on mine for several years. It wasn't until Pre-Easter evening that I realized what was happening. The eggs were hidden and I had the opportunity to help put together baskets for the following morning. When I walked into our bedroom, I found the Queen on the floor dumping a bag of jelly beans on the floor and dividing them in to equal piles. I stood there for a minute with this look of bewilderment on my face I am sure. She looked up at me and said, "What?" I responded in kind, "What?"
She proceeded to inform me that her mother had always divided the goodies equally so that no one felt cheated. She always ended up with the left overs or ones, twos, or threes of each goodie placed in the basket. She then went on to explain that she did the same thing for Birthdays, Christmas, Baptisms... and so forth. She had a notebook of how much she has spent on each of our children as certain ages, so that she could make sure she was doing the same for the next when they turned of age.
I was still struggling with the counting of peeps, jelly beans, and so forth. So I asked, "On Easter Morning, did you ever take your baskets into your rooms and count out the jelly beans to make sure your mother was right?" Her response was, "No. " "So, why do you think our children will?"
This all came to mind after some of the discussions that took place over dinner and as we gathered after dinner for Family Home Evening. I don't know what to think. After this thoughts, my mind turned to a parable share with us by Christ. (Matt. 20:1-16)
The householder went out and hired laborers. I am sure that each had different skill levels, abilities, and talents. Some probably worked faster, harder, and more diligently than others. As we see in the parable, there were some that rose later in the day, but the householder still gave them the opportunity to prove themselves. He did this several times.
Does it matter where those laborers were before they were hired? Does it matter how hard they worked? The share of wages is the same. We all work towards the same goal. What counts is that we do all that we can to be worthy of that wage in the end. We cannot get caught up in what others do or don't do. We must first worry about our own personal salvation.
I wonder how many of those laborers worked together when one was not strong enough, talented enough, or diligent enough to complete that task they had been assigned. Did they work together and then decide how to split the wage? I don't think so, they each did what they knew needed to be done. They each worked for the wage they had personally covenanted with the householder.
I am sure that when I was much, much, much, much younger, I probably stumbled over this block. When I look back on it, I was silly. Was it frustrating? Probably. Did it kill me? Nope. Did it matter? Not at all.
When the Queen and I started working for the same company, on the same day, I can assure you that we both had differing talents, abilities, and skills. In my opinion, they each had equal value. However, our separate supervisors did not see it that way. It was not long before one of us was making more than the other due to merit evaluations.
Was it frustrating? Yes. Did it kill us? No, but it could have been a source of stumbling. Luckily, one of us made valiant choices and rose above the stumbling block. Did it matter? Not to us, we each knew who we were, our value to the company and each other. We just made sure we were each doing an honest days work. This work was of equal value, just at different pay scales. Even today it is the same, but we do our best not to stumble.
How about you?
Today, I was reminded of one of those traditions that to me seemed silly at the time. I guess I was wrong. We had probably been following the tradition with heavier barring on the Queen's side than on mine for several years. It wasn't until Pre-Easter evening that I realized what was happening. The eggs were hidden and I had the opportunity to help put together baskets for the following morning. When I walked into our bedroom, I found the Queen on the floor dumping a bag of jelly beans on the floor and dividing them in to equal piles. I stood there for a minute with this look of bewilderment on my face I am sure. She looked up at me and said, "What?" I responded in kind, "What?"
She proceeded to inform me that her mother had always divided the goodies equally so that no one felt cheated. She always ended up with the left overs or ones, twos, or threes of each goodie placed in the basket. She then went on to explain that she did the same thing for Birthdays, Christmas, Baptisms... and so forth. She had a notebook of how much she has spent on each of our children as certain ages, so that she could make sure she was doing the same for the next when they turned of age.
I was still struggling with the counting of peeps, jelly beans, and so forth. So I asked, "On Easter Morning, did you ever take your baskets into your rooms and count out the jelly beans to make sure your mother was right?" Her response was, "No. " "So, why do you think our children will?"
This all came to mind after some of the discussions that took place over dinner and as we gathered after dinner for Family Home Evening. I don't know what to think. After this thoughts, my mind turned to a parable share with us by Christ. (Matt. 20:1-16)
The householder went out and hired laborers. I am sure that each had different skill levels, abilities, and talents. Some probably worked faster, harder, and more diligently than others. As we see in the parable, there were some that rose later in the day, but the householder still gave them the opportunity to prove themselves. He did this several times.
Does it matter where those laborers were before they were hired? Does it matter how hard they worked? The share of wages is the same. We all work towards the same goal. What counts is that we do all that we can to be worthy of that wage in the end. We cannot get caught up in what others do or don't do. We must first worry about our own personal salvation.
I wonder how many of those laborers worked together when one was not strong enough, talented enough, or diligent enough to complete that task they had been assigned. Did they work together and then decide how to split the wage? I don't think so, they each did what they knew needed to be done. They each worked for the wage they had personally covenanted with the householder.
I am sure that when I was much, much, much, much younger, I probably stumbled over this block. When I look back on it, I was silly. Was it frustrating? Probably. Did it kill me? Nope. Did it matter? Not at all.
When the Queen and I started working for the same company, on the same day, I can assure you that we both had differing talents, abilities, and skills. In my opinion, they each had equal value. However, our separate supervisors did not see it that way. It was not long before one of us was making more than the other due to merit evaluations.
Was it frustrating? Yes. Did it kill us? No, but it could have been a source of stumbling. Luckily, one of us made valiant choices and rose above the stumbling block. Did it matter? Not to us, we each knew who we were, our value to the company and each other. We just made sure we were each doing an honest days work. This work was of equal value, just at different pay scales. Even today it is the same, but we do our best not to stumble.
How about you?
Comments